What Do You Really, Really Want?
Friends, I’ve been asking myself this question over and over: What do I really want?
It’s not as easy as we think to answer. We could all spout off something simple, something we’re ‘supposed’ to want, like more money, more time, a new car/computer/boat/etc…. But what do we really want?
The soul of what we want isn’t something external. It’s not actually more money (you’ll be just as miserable). It’s not more time (what are you going to do with it anyway?) And it’s definitely not a new fancy thing-a-ma-jig.
The thing that you really want is deep, like spiritual level deep. And it’s probably something you haven’t found the courage to say out loud yet, or maybe even admit to yourself.
Why We’re All Afraid of the Thing We Want Most
These deep, soul-level goals are us. Like, the complete, unfiltered, whole version of us. They represent the Authentic Self. This is the more important piece of us, and we instinctively know that if it were to get damaged, that would be very bad.
We are afraid to look at the thing we want most, because we are afraid of exposing it to potential harm.
Think of it like this: there’s this little glowing ball of light (that’s you!) Light seems like a pretty flimsy thing. We are afraid the light will be snuffed out, so we build a protective barrier around it. We don’t want anyone to have access to the light, in case they damage it or cast a shadow, etc. We build up layers and layers of protective shielding around this light to protect it. Even to the point where we can’t see the light, we build our barrier around it, so that we know the light is safe. So that we know that we are safe.
The light is your love-based being, including your deepest hopes and dreams, and your Authentic Self.
The barrier is fear. It is the result of us feeling hurt, often as early as childhood or even in the womb, we start to put down this barrier. We are protecting ourselves from the thing we are most afraid of: pain.
I don’t mean physical pain, I mean deep, emotional pain.
Like when you spend all night on an art project you think is totally stellar, and the jerk in your class laughs at it before smashing it to the ground.
Like when your teacher tells you that you won’t amount to anything and are a waste of their time.
Like when your parent tells you your art is childish and it’s time to get a real career.
For different reasons, each of us will have experienced the hurtful sensation of exposing a piece of our Authentic Self (in the form of something we’ve created from the heart, or expressing a deep desire for something), and having someone else tromp all over it.
(Secret hint: when other people tromp, it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their own internal pain. It relates back to their own dreams that they’ve lost touch with, and the emotional pain they’ve experienced. They are trying, subconsciously. to unload some of this onto someone else. It’s really not about you at all.)
Each time someone tromps on our deepest desires, it can feel like a mortal wound. It’s a very uncomfortable sensation. We don’t want to ever feel it again, so we put up our barrier.
We believe that keeping our light buried behind safety barriers, even though we also will never see it, is better than having it exposed.
We are afraid of the things we want most, not because we are afraid of the things themselves, but because we are afraid to look, to potentially expose our inner light to damage.
How Do We Overcome This Fear and Realize Our Deepest Desires?
Like all fears, it’s helpful to understand where it comes from. We need to ask ourselves, Why are we afraid to look?
We all have different stories, different hurts that have shaped us. Some we may be able to pinpoint, and others we may have no way of knowing.
The other way to overcome this self-fear is to neutralize it with self-love.
We envision this glowing ball of light as though we were outside of it looking in. That’s why, when we build our barrier, we end up outside the barrier. That’s also why we are afraid other people might come and snuff it out, cast shadows over it, etc. Because if you’re standing outside the light, if you’re observing the light, you can see how external things affect it.
But the light is always on. We are the light. The light is love. It is always there.
Our proper place is not beside the light, or even around it. We are the light. There is no difference between us and the light.
If you are a light, no matter what anyone does, or what barriers are put up, the light is still always visible. In fact, someone trying to snuff out your light by covering it with something would only make your view of the light brighter.
Think of it like the sun. The sun is always on, even when it’s nighttime, even when it’s cloudy, the sun is still burning just as bright. From the sun’s point of view, there is never any change in the light it produces.
All of this is meant to convince you of one fact: your inner light is no extinguishable. It is not possible to affect it in any way, to cast a shadow, to snuff it out, to do anything at all to the light. It’s safe. Always.
So now, back to our question: What do you really, really want?
You want your light. You want to be one with it, instead of an observer desperately putting up protective barriers. You want to express it fully, brightly, and without doubt or fear.
Simple enough, right?
For each of us, this will mean something different. For one person, it might be playing music, for another maybe it’s accounting. Today I heard of someone who became a Burger Scholar and makes his living eating hamburgers and writing about their history (I dunno how hubby finds these things, but you can check it out here.)
Uncovering Your Light
If you’re like me, you spent a lifetime throwing up protective barriers until someone told you to stop (and then you still did it some more, and then some more, until you got frustrated and realized for yourself it really was doing more harm than protection anyway).
The good news is that the layers can be removed much faster than they were put down.
I call it the Explore, Accept, Let Go cycle (or EALG… no, that doesn’t work, hmm…)
We Explore simply by asking Why? Why do I believe its unsafe? Why do I have this fear?
When an answer comes to us (and it will, often very quickly), it is tempting to look the other way, to look for a ‘right’ answer, we must Accept it.
When we Accept our fears and look more closely at them, we can easily Let Go. Fears are usually nothing more than false beliefs, and once we explore and accept them, it becomes easy to see the fallacy, and to rewrite the story we have been telling ourselves.
Here’s the fun thing: the first few times you do this, it will feel hard. Or, it may not feel like anything is happening. This is because all your layers of barriers have left you in a low-light, or low-vibration, state.
But, the more you Explore, Accept, and Let Go, releasing your barriers, the more of your light starts to shine through. Suddenly, bolstered by your light which fulfills you and gives you positive energy, breaking down your barriers gets easier and easier.
The Path to Knowing What You Really, Really Want
Okay, great. We’ve talked about inner light, we’ve talked about protective barriers, and we’ve talked about releasing our barriers using Explore, Accept, and Let Go. We’ve even talked about how doing this over and over reconnects us with our inner light. But why?
One, this is hella important.
Two, our inner light is the part of us that knows what we really, really want.
But most importantly, three, when we know what we really. really want, and we start to step into becoming that person, this is where we start to get really successful as human beings.
Take the Burger Historian, for example. It’s not a profession any of us wrote down as an option in careers class in high school. It’s not something I’ve ever heard of before. But I’d guess this guy is making a lot of money, like 6-7 figures kind of money. On top of that, he’s got a job that interests him and, if he loves burgers as much as I do, he likes doing. I bet it makes him happy and fills him with energy, so he has more ability to be fully present in every other aspect of his life.
When we embrace the Authentic Self, and we start to connect to our unique values, passions, and talents, we start to fulfill a unique need in society (read The Puzzle Piece Analogy for a more in depth explanation). We also enter into the high-energy state where we attract people and money and success to us (this is what all of the Manifestation and Affirmation gurus are trying to get you to do).
So, here it is, the path, step by step:
- Ask yourself, what do you really, really want? Ask yourself, what it is you’re afraid to admit that you really, really want? And ask yourself, why?
- Explore the fear by asking questions around it like, Why am I afraid of admitting my inner desires? Can I think of a specific time that makes me feel afraid?
- Accept whatever answer you get; don’t turn away from even the most painful or the most seemingly silly of memories or ideas. Your subconscious knows, and it will tell you. You just have to be willing to listen.
- Let Go of the fear / the barrier by understanding where it is false or unhelpful, and rewriting it.
- Repeat. (This is where it gets fun…) Each time you do this, you will up-level, just a little bit (or a lot), you will start to expose more of your light, and when you ask yourself, “What do I really, really want?” more of the answer will come through. More YOU will come through. This doesn’t mean you don’t get to know who you are until you’ve cleared out every single block, it means you get to get on this great journey of discovery, and of becoming more and more YOU, for your entire life!
Pretty neat, huh?
Sometimes We Need Some Help
In case you can’t tell, I’m super passionate about this stuff. When I ask myself what I really, really want, it’s this:
- To help people find more joy by stepping fully into themselves.
- To help the world up-level by encouraging people to step fully into themselves.
- To be a conduit for healing and to unleash high-frequency vibration.
Simple stuff, really…
I was really lucky several years ago to practically fall into learning about ways to break down these barriers that keep us from our inner light / Authentic Self. It took me from *barely holding it together, recovering from long-term major depressive disorder* to *active, engaged, joyful, life participant*… essentially, the little grinning comic version of me you see everywhere (I actually look like that!)
I say I was really lucky because at the time, I don’t know that I could have seen the barriers on my own. I don’t know that I could have looked at them objectively, or identified them. I also didn’t even realize what kind of blocks I had.
To help you out, I’ve got this free guide, The 9 Happiness Blocks, that outlines the 9 different types of things that can cause us to put down barriers and how to recognize them (some of them are obvious, like situations where other people tromp on our dreams, but others are less so, like ancestral and even past life traumas that still affect us in this lifetime.) You can download the guide here to use while you’re exploring your fear barriers.
The other thing you can check out is my $9 mini course, Unlimited, that shows you how to instantly rewrite false and limiting beliefs. It’s totally rad, and it totally works. (Number one success story typing at you right here, plus dozens of others who have shifted instantly.)
Alrighty, this has been a longer than average blog post, so I will cut myself off here. If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me!
I’d love to hear from you. What do you really, really want? What fears are holding you back? As you sift through those fears, what are you learning about yourself and your dreams?
2-3 Love, everyone!
Cover Photo by Jonathan Andrew from Pexels
